Autonomous Press releases three books in March, including Barking Sycamores: Year One. We are blogging excerpts from the anthology to give you a “sneak peek” inside. Today, we’re happy to present “What Type of Person Are You?: Take the Quiz!” by Heather Dorn, which was published in Issue 4.
WHAT TYPE OF PERSON ARE YOU?: TAKE THE QUIZ!
by Heather Dorn
You Got: Marzipan person with a metal knife hidden inside. You got: Most likely to be stood up, sitting at the bar at Zippers. You got: Diseased. You got: No shoulder pads. You got: Still awake at 6 a.m., writing poems for the trash, clothes all over your floor and a piece of pizza on your night stand. No plate. You got: Left alone all weekend as a child, green bean dinner, powdered milk, the apartment has Skinimax, “Weekend at Bernie’s” plays so often you memorize it, you don’t know the names of the other movies, you don’t listen to the words. You got: Watch “Embrace of the Vampire” so often you fall in love with Alyssa Milano. And vampires. You got: Jane Eyre means everything. You got: Folders, binders, pens, pencils, markers, flash drives, crayons, notebooks. You got: Buy everything. You got: Alice in Wonderland, DRINK ME. You got: Sick: one day hitting a curb and a stop sign in slow motion, 2 miles an hour, tied to a hospital bed by oxygen tubes up your nose, heart trying to die, no salt, no salt, watch your water intake too, no alcohol anymore, walk because running will bleed everything through. You got: Drunk and running in the street, bleeding energy from every surface, red wine spilling all over your white dress.